Constantly looking over his shoulder and through the shutters of his window Earwig is convinced that he is being followed by "Them" Earwig maintains a web site chocked full of wild conspiracy theories pinpointing everyone from The Federal Bureau of Investigation to The Food and Drug Administration "That's what the FDA wants you to believe. It's a conspiracy, man. Why do you think hot dogs come in packages of ten and hot dog buns come in packages of eight? So you buy more, but for it to ever even out you'd have to buy like four packs of hotdogs and like five packs of buns for a total of forty each. But here's the kicker hot dog buns only stay fresh for about a week. Who's gonna eat forty franks in a week, man? That's where they get ya."

Earwig has an explanation for everything and believes there is a sinister plot behind even the most ordinary of circumstances.